and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
