You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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