My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
