Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
