Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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