I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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