he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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