Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He called his prostate his "boner button".
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
