My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms