Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
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I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
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i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend