Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
