The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
