plz talk dirty to me
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
