so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
whose parrot is this?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
