I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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