btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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