i permit you to call me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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