Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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