I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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