I CAN MOONWALK!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize