I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Too much gin, very little bucket
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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