OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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