Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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