I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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