Don't you send me to vm
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
