He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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