She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
