plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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