Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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