I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
