i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
