Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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