I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
