She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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