It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize