dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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