Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
