Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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