Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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