I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
