it was like eating out sand paper
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
