he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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