Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
