just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so let's talk penis.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
