is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
