Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
