Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
