I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
