You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
