dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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