you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize