at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You made out with two different species that night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize