weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
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I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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