so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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