the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
