Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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