WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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