I just pynch a tree in the face
i just had sex bonerless
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
