It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I could fuck to npr.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
