He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
