He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
third nipple confirmed
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
