he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
