I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
