she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize