Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
