what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
